And Then There Were None
by Fettkat
Summary: Post LOTF. Ben/Luke. Father and son come to grips with their loss.


**And then there were none**

Luke Skywalker sat at the kitchen table, in the dark, swirling a glass of Corellian whisky. The only light in the entire apartment came from the passing flashes of speeder traffic on the skylanes of Coruscant through the all-encompassing transparisteel windows. He was alone, with the silence and his thoughts. His grief.

The door swooshed open and shut as a new figure entered the darkened living room. With a soft sigh the entrant walked forward, not bothering to turn on the lights, jingling access cards and loose credits as he tossed them onto a small side-table. The sound of his boots coming down the hall was now the only sound in the house. He paused at the kitchen door, catching an amber glint as a stray headlight caught the swirling liquid in the glass. He squinted and abruptly switched on a single light. Luke shaded his eyes at the sudden radiance.

"Dad?"  
Ben Skywalker took in the scene at a glance. He changed his course and wordlessly took down a glass from the sideboard and without bothering to ask for permission, picked up the bottle of whisky and poured himself a stiff drink.  
His father was caught by surprise.  
"Ben!"  
"Ah shavit, Dad. I've committed murder and you're going to tell me I'm not old enough to drink?"  
He took a practiced swallow, set the glass down, pulled out a chair and sat down opposite his father. He was still looking at him in shock. Ben didn't flinch. Only looked at the older man. His eyes were level and cool. Guarded. They aged him beyond his fourteen years. As did the shadowy red fluff now dawning on his cheeks.  
Ben took another sip, swallowed, set down the glass and stretched his legs out under the table.  
"Sooooo…" he breathed, then suddenly looked away.  
Luke had recovered his voice.  
"What?"  
Ben turned back, but stared down at the table.  
"I was going to say so it's just the two of us now. But that's not funny."  
Luke's voice was low too as he said "Yes. That's not funny."

The two sat in silence for a while, till Luke decided he had to say something.  
"Ben, please don't drink the rest of that. Look, I- I'll stop too…"  
Ben looked resigned and then pushed the glass towards him.  
"Ah. Go it away. Maybe you need it more than I do. I just wish you'd stopped me on Vulpter too, when I was pointing a rifle at Gejjen's head."

Luke looked at him, pain stabbing his heart as he heard the cold weariness in his son's voice.  
"Ben…"  
Ben passed a hand wearily through his hair. It was no longer buzz-cut as it used to be, now it had grown tousled, worried by his hands as he gripped it often in frustration.  
"I just wish… so many things. I wish I'd listened to you more, Dad...I wish I hadn't been such a kriffing _idiot_!"  
Luke frowned, worried.  
"Ben… what's wrong?"  
"I wish… "  
The boy sank his head in his hands. Looking up he said in that same age-wearied tone,  
"This isn't easy, is it Dad?"  
There was a quiet desperation in his voice as well as in his clouded blue eyes now.  
Luke tried to reach for his hand.  
"No, son. It isn't."

He couldn't keep still. He shifted restlessly.  
"I wish I had listened! All my life you told me war is not the way! Killing is not an answer to any problem! Jedi don't use violence except as a last resort! All my life! It was right _there!_ And I chose Jacen. I _believed_ him when he said the opposite! I _trusted_ him, even over you! You were always right. And I simply didn't listen!"

His head dropped back into his hands and he gripped his hair furiously. His voice came out muffled from between his fingers.  
"I shouldn't have told Mom."  
"What?"  
"I shouldn't have told Mom about Jacen and Lumiya and what I overheard! I should've known she would freak out! She always freaked out when it came to me!"  
There were tears in Ben's eyes. Luke longed to comfort him but felt, wisely, that it was best to let him talk out whatever was tormenting him.  
" She was trying to protect you, Ben-"  
"I should've gone to you. Told you first. You'd never have let her take off like that on her own."  
Luke looked at his son.  
"Then what if it had been me? What if I'd gone off on my own? What if Jacen had killed me instead of Mom? What do you think she would have done in my place?"  
"Oh by now she'd've vaped half the galaxy out of anger."  
Luke smiled dimly.  
"Would that have helped?"  
Ben looked away in pain.  
"I donno… I- I just wish..."  
He sighed.  
"I wish we'd had more time. It wasn't supposed to be this way."  
"Yeah", his father agreed. "I wish I could've said goodbye..."  
Ben looked at him incredulously.  
"How could you say goodbye? How could you have let her go?"  
"Atleast... it wouldn't have been a note..."

Ben's throat threatened to close up.  
"It should have been me. Not Jaina. I should've avenged her. She was _my _mother! I wish you all had let me go. I would have killed Jacen, I would've, I swear!"  
Luke looked at him and this time Ben was startled to see anger sparking in his eyes.  
"You would have done that to me, Ben? You would have been so selfish? You would never have been able to win. Not against Jacen. Remember he was your_ Master _.Not without reason. He would have killed you. He wouldn't even have paused to think about it."  
"No, Dad-!"  
"Yes, Ben! You would not have survived, not without turning yourself to the Dark Side, and then you'd have been as good as dead to me anyway! No. I-I made a promise. I promised your mother... if anything were ever to happen to her, I-I'd be strong for you... I haven't fared very well on that level, I know, but..."  
"Dad-"  
"I would not survive losing you both, Ben." He said it with a tone of finality and Ben knew it to be true.  
"I- Dad, I- never meant..."  
He reached across the table and grabbed his father's hand, trying to communicate through touch what he could not express in words.

"I'll be here for you, Dad. You won't have to worry about me. We'll- we'll make it..." He trailed off.  
Would they? His dad had seen many deaths, too many deaths, but _this? _It awoke a fresh wave of terror in him. He had been trying so hard to grow up in an instant, to become the man he hoped everyone could depend on, but when it came to his family, he'd suddenly realized how fragile they were and it scared him. He couldn't help his childish needing of reassurance from his father, atleast that he was there, atleast that he too wasn't...  
Ben sat there for a long time, such thoughts swirling in his head, looking to his broken father for comfort.  
Finally he said, in a small voice, "Dad? What are we going to do?"  
"I have no kriffing idea."


End file.
